As I mentioned in the first part of this post, A Journey to Forgiveness – Part 1, God took me on a journey to forgiving my dad. I talked about how I had a dream; and in the dream, I knew without a shadow of doubt that God was asking me to forgive my long estranged father. If you recall, 1 Samuel 15:22 says

“What is more pleasing to the Lord: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice? Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.”

Obedience to God’s instructions trumps sacrifice any day, any time. It is better and more beneficial for you and I to obey the voice of the Lord and do what He instructs us to do, than it is to offer sacrifices to him.

A Journey to Forgiving My Estranged Dad

Continuing from where I left off in the previous post, I knew immediately that I had to make the move and initiate a conversation with my dad. I got his number from a relative and I gave him a call. As the phone started ringing, I was extremely tempted to hang up and just forget about it, but I hung on instead. He picked up the phone after several rings. I wasn’t sure what to call him: do I call him father? Dad? Mr. So and So? Or do I just say Hi, good afternoon? Well I decided with the latter and said, “Hi, good afternoon.” To make a long story short, he immediately realized who was calling and he was extremely overjoyed. I thought maybe I dialed the wrong number or maybe he had forgotten that he abandoned me all these years, but I stayed on the phone.

I realized in that moment that the man I thought all these years had a vendetta against me was actually always on the lookout waiting for me to “return”. It reminds me of the story of the prodigal son in the bible whose father was on the lookout for him to return home.

“So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him” Luke 15:20 NLT.

My dad was the same way, he was looking forward to this day; the day he would be reconciled with his lost daughter. His joy overflowed to me and I was overjoyed as well. I didn’t expect to feel that way. I didn’t expect to feel a weight lifted off my shoulder because I didn’t think I was carrying any weight of unforgiveness.

I spent a couple more minutes on the phone with him. The conversation didn’t seem forced at all; it just flowed. We caught up a bit on each other’s lives and made arrangements to connect again sometime soon. “Sometime soon” came and I didn’t know if I should be the one to call him or wait for him to call, but as God would have it, he gave me a call before I could even decide. And friends, that was the beginning of a beautiful reconnection with my dad; all because I listened and obeyed God’s instruction

Let it Go! Forgive and Move On!

Again, remember that “unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die from it.” It is time to let go and forgive that person who has hurt you, betrayed you, and caused you so much pain. It doesn’t matter how long it has been, you should still forgive. And you don’t have to wait for the person to make the first move, you can make the move. Remember that forgiveness is actually not for the other person, it is for you! It’s one of the few occasions where it is okay to be selfish. It frees you from the bondage and venom of holding a grudge in your heart.

I was reading a devotional by Debora Felinger, Broken to Restore and she says in it that “Forgiveness is not a response, it is a decision.” She goes on to say, “it is impossible to just wait and feel forgiveness for someone who hurt you; instead be firm and decide to forgive even if you don’t feel it.” So, no more saying “but I don’t feel like it” when someone asks you to forgive a person that has hurt you. The bible says in Ephesians 4:31

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.”

Unforgiveness can stop you from receiving the blessings God has for you. It is one of the major things that block your blessings from coming to you. Mark 11:25 says

“Whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him [drop the issue, let it go], so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions and wrongdoings [against Him and others].”

What this scripture is trying to show us here is that we can’t ask God to bless us and forgive us when we are holding a grudge against someone else; God cannot answer such prayer because that goes against His character. Matthew 6:14 tells us that if we forgive other people when they sin against us, our heavenly Father will also forgive us.

And if you ever wonder how many times you are to forgive someone, the bible says in Matthew 18:21-22

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you have to maintain that relationship, especially if the relationship was toxic to begin with. You can forgive someone but still move on and not have that person remain in your life. Forgive but also exercise wisdom when it comes to the relationship with that person. Forgiving my dad was not easy but it was done out of obedience and I am currently reaping the blessings from it.

Again as in the first part of this post, I want to challenge you as you read this; is there anyone in your life right now that you need to forgive? Is there anyone who has done you wrong or has hurt you so much that you don’t feel like you can ever forgive them? I’m not asking you to forgive them right here and now, I am asking you to take it to God in prayer. Ask Him to show you the not so obvious ways you have harbored resentment but didn’t know it, and as He reveals it to you, ask Him to empower you to let go of that resentment and come to a place of forgiveness.

Until next time, remember, keep your hope in God for He loves you and has promised to never leave you nor forsake you!

Because sharing is caring, be sure to share this blog post with your family and friends especially those who need to be encouraged to forgive someone today!